Annalee????

So Mike and I were sitting in the livingroom and we noticed we had a voicemail message.  We checked the message and it said "Hi, I'll just call back later".  We looked at each other and didn't recognize the name or number so figured it was a wrong number. 
Later tonight the phone rings again and we see it is the same caller.  I answer and there was a lady on the other end of the phone and she said "Annalee?"  I said yes.  She then said that this was going to sound very strange but her name was Annalee as well and she was wondering where I got my name from.  I didn't hesitate and I stated that I was named after the nurse who delivered me.  She then says...."are you Heilman?"  I said "yes".  She then said..."omg - Annalee Nicole"  I then said "omg are you Weiman - the nurse that delivered me?"  She said "Yes".  She then went on to say I see you have 3 beautiful children now.  FREAKY! lol   I said yes and she chuckled and said she saw my name in the paper for the Babies of 2010.  It all made sense then. 
She then asked " I trust all is well with you then?" And I told her of the news.  She immediately said "I don't want you to worry because Annalee is a very strong name and we are fighters"  She herself is a 7 year Breast Cancer Survivor.  She then gave me a pep talk and told me if I ever needed anything or wanted to talk she was available.  My heart is so full of the love and the selflessness of others is overwhelming.  I don't know how I could ever thank everyone enough! 
Why was it today when I was feeling low that she called to bring me back up?  It isn't like I have talked to her for years.  I know she called my mom when I was 16 to say hi and to see how I was but to call me today of all days is just plain weird.  My faith is becoming stronger that there is a plan...and everything is the way it is suppose to be right now!  I'm sure I will eventually see the bigger picture but for now - I must take things one day at a time.

I heard an ANGELS voice..his name is Jack Moon.

so I just received a phone call from Jack Moon...my new found Angel!  I joined the National Bladder Cancer Network and he is the President.  Joined with him is David Gutmann.  Together they are working very hard on this holiday to find me a highly qualified world renound Urologist to help me!!  They have 2 world renouned doctors on their board and they are trying to find out credetials of the Urologists here in Saskatoon and the local hospital cancer clinic!  He explained that there is really no research available for my cancer and not a lot of information but they are working with a bunch of professionals to get me the help I need!  He even explained another option of an Indiania Pouch which uses my large bowel and a stoma by my belly button for elimination.  He then went on to say there are highly qualified Urologists in Edmonton and if I am willing to travel that is a great place to go!  I don't care where I go..just get me help!  Oh did I tell you that I heard all of this becauase he personally called me to tell me I have a group in my corner and his words "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE...WE ARE NOT GOING TO LET YOU"  It is so nice to have people who have had these procedures, know what I am going through and are knowledgable about bladder cancer and best of all HELPING ME!  I am so happy right now.  I have a smile again..because of angels - Jack Moon and David Gutmann! 

A glimpse of HOPE!

so during my research I came across Bladder Cancer WebCafe.  OMG...in less than 5 minutes after posting my story I had people who had bladder cancer and are survivors and are advocates reply to me.  they are both working together and making my case priority because of the severity of it.  I am hopeful again. The Canadian Cancer Bladder Network may be my miracle I am looking for.... They suggest I get a 2nd opinion immediately as a lot of the members on the board have had misdiagnosis.  I am so hoping they are wrong with my diagnosis and it isn't as bad as they say..but I am not hoping too high so I get crushed.  Just someone listening and on my side and knowing what I am going through is a million tonnes lifted off my shoulders....Today I have a GLIMPSE OF HOPE!

Happy New Year???? Nope back at the bottom

Mike asked if his old roommates could come over (good friends of ours) to celebrate New Years with us.  At first I really didn't wanna be around people just my family but then I said ya why not....try and make it a new beginning in 2011 knowing of the struggles I have ahead of me.  The evening went really well, my mind barely wandered, no tears...all 3 kids made it to midnight (well AJ fell asleep at 1130 but for some reason the flash of a camera at 11:58 seemed to wake him up! hahaha).  And Barenaked Ladies sang me into the New Year.  I kissed my kids, my husband and was smiling!  For those few seconds...I was happy again.  Cory and Candida left and I instantly fell asleep in the chair with my baby boy laying on my chest.  Mike wanted to move him but I didn't want him moved.  I wanted to cherish that feeling forever.  I never wanted him to leave and I was at peace with him there.  Mike finally put AJ to sleep and told me to follow..but I just fell back asleep in the recliner.  I got up at 430 and Mike had stayed up to make sure I made it to bed and then just cuddled me.  That is the best place - in his arms.  I fell back to sleep but woke up to terrible pains in my stomach and went to the bathroom to pissing blood again and bits of something.  I heard a pop...wondering if it hasn't come back already.  Looks like I may have an ER visit today...what a great way to start the New Year. I am back at the bottom again! ;(
Bella leaves for G'ma Annas today for the week...I don't know if that is a great idea...I need the distractions...but I also need to rest and gain strength for this battle.  One day at a time....my battle starts now.